Banned from zoo.
Again?
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
Randomize
