i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
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