i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
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