Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Randomize
