i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
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