I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
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