My nipple is on Facebook.
my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
operation harelip BJ is a go
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
