Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.