My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
These Attractive Criminals Took Sexy Mugshots That Made Them Famous
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
This Girl’s Unbelievable Catfish Story Will Make You Rethink Online Dating
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?