Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
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All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
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Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
I think I just shit out all my problems.
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
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