He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
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