He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
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