dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
