Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Randomize
