Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
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