please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
Randomize
