I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
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