Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...