drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!