you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
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when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
tequila makes me forget i have legs
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
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I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka