Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
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