I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
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