So drunk, too bad you don't want this
I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
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