If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
I am spending my child support on dildos
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
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her facebook's as public as her vagina
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
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