So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
Send help, water and tortillas.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
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