I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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