you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
Randomize
