Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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