An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
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