I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
Randomize
