thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize