Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
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