here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
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