did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
Randomize
