you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
Randomize