Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
Randomize
