I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
Randomize
