dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
