Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
