...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
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You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
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5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
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