My girlfriend figured out who you are.
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
