either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
Randomize