i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
Enjoy the penises
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
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