you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
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