i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
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