we have officially lost it.
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
Randomize