Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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