Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
