I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
my shit smells like andre
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
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