Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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