Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
Randomize
