i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
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