i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
Randomize
