about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
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