youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
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