People in love make me want to vomit
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
I party with great urgency now.
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