he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
Randomize
