Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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