you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
