Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
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I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
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You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
I JUST MACED MY OWN FACE
This is by far the best text I have ever woken up to.
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
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